Once upon a time, in the middle of the forest lived three little schnauzers! They had to move out of their doggy home because their mother said "Go build a great, strong home!," they dashed like fast cheetahs into the great, sandy plains, the first little schnauzer called Dashy made his house out of steak, beef and glass, its shape was half a sphere "Woofy, woof!," The second schnauzer called Woofy made its house with squeaky rubber. "Squeaky, SQUEAAKKK," The 3rd schnauzer called Noodle made its house out of the most best dog chocolate in the world, the door was made out of the strongest metal in the entire world and had brick inside, the house had an outside layer of thick, hard brick. Then another layer of the most hardest, strongest, most durable, waterproof wood! It had really strong arches to support the half of a sphere! A big, bad, wolf came. The wolf came to the first little schnauzer, "Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark!," The schnauzer ran to...
This is a fantastic 'snapshot' of writing James. You have been descriptive and added details that also keep your reader guessing. I wonder if you can add in some more details about where, when and who you were with.
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